Taking kiddo to dentist?

My son is 4, and has been to the dentist once, about 2 yrs ago. I think its time for him to go again, i want to start getting him in the routine of going every 6 months, but theres a problem. My son tends to be very nervous and shy around new people, and is timid with anything new or new situations. The first dentist i took him to i was able to go back with him, and everything was fine. But we have since moved and none of the dentists in my area allow the parent back with the child. I am uncomfortable with this for many reasons...for 1 i know my childs personality and that would extremely upset him. Also, i dont know who these people are taking my child into some private room...im not very trusting with strangers being alone with my child when i havent even met them, doctor, dentist, whatever...i certainly wouldnt allow my son to go into the Dr exam room alone at age 4, so why should i let him at the dentist? How do i approach this and handle this?

Taking kiddo to dentist?
I totally agree with your apprehension and think it is inappropriate for him to go to the dentist and be examined without you right there. Can you research the available dentists in your area any further and come up with perhaps a pediatric dentist? Can you travel further than you would normally consider reasonable to find someone who agrees that you should be present? Can you talk with other parents in your area and find out how they handle the situation, i.e., find someone who has found an appropriate dentist? I can't think of anything else you could do but, you should take him to the dentist (as you know!) and you should be allowed to be there (as you know too!) so do whatever you can to make it happen.
Reply:I am very surprised to hear that. Are you going to a pediactric dentist? I would do some more calling around. I am with you, you should be able to go with your child.
Reply:I'd go meet with the dentist before the appointment--with your son. Make sure the dentist knows your concerns. I'm sure your son will be fine alone with the dentist. It may make him feel special and grown up. Most dentists will at least let you do an interview with them and I'd go that route.
Reply:it's either you talk or find another dentist.
Reply:I think that if you ask around in your area for dentists who speacialize in 1) pediatrics, and 2) patients with anxiety about dentists . My daughter used to go to a pediatric dental practice that allowed parents to come back with their children for the very reasons you mentioned. I have also insisted that I come back with her since then...even at the orthodontist when she was 12! I hope this helps.
Reply:Where on earth do you live that these doctors would tell you as a parent you can't go with your 4 year old to the exam room? You are absolutely right to steer clear of these quacks. I've been taking my son to my dentist since he's 3 (he's 5 now) and they are amazing. If I were you, I'd just keep trying to find a dentist that actually won't prevent you from being with your child. They're out there - you just have to look. And he doesn't have to go to a pediatric dentist - they're all trained the same way so I don't get what's so special about them.
Reply:You have got to work through this issue and get your son to the dentist! This will not be the only issue like this to come up. You must lead the way, show him how to handle himself, show him that even though he is worried, you are not, and all is going to be just fine. Show him how people handle problems and how it goes just fine, even when we have fears about it. If it is a pediatric dentist he is probably very skilled at this already. Take him early, have a Nurse show him around, have a toy/reward for him for his good behavior when the trip is over, and act out at home what the dentist will likely do and say once he's there in the chair.





Ask the doctor to help you with this and see what they do for fearful kids. Be sure you are not freaked out and he's not picking up on your stuff in addition to his own. They just want to clean the child's teeth for goodness sake, not do brain surgery.





You have to lead by example here. You know the world is not going to change to cater to your fearful son; you must be the adult here and show him the way! It's why he has a Mother!! It will all go so much better than you are anticipating. But if you put this off, it will be harder; he'll be more fearful and if his teeth have issues from your waiting, he'll have reason to be fearful.





Get out there and get him looked at!!